Kate Macrae
Sometimes when you write you write for a teacher, what they want, what they ask for or advice, sometimes you write to sound like you are full of passion and sometimes you write to get a grade. Not enough of the time do I find myself writing from somewhere deeper then the urge to get an A. For the final project I wanted to dig deeper. I wanted to write raw, uncut and unchanged emotions and feelings, but I wanted it to mean something and not just to sound emotional.
At first I didn’t want to write about divorce. Though it represented exactly what I wanted, how some events force you to grow and change, it seemed too personal and too private. Once I decided not to write about it every idea I had after that I could not write more then three sentences on. I told myself I would write about divorce as an outline and then refer back to it when I found a topic I could write about. As I started to write, it felt right. I finished a draft of all three pieces in two hours. I decided that divorce being personal is what makes it so perfect for a “coming of age” piece. It was everything I wanted it to be, real, raw and from me. My final piece is something that represents true and powerful emotions. I believe that I have dug deeper and written about something that shows true coming of age. My piece is a “coming of age” piece because it shows that you don’t just come of age it takes time.
Stream of Consciousness
“During”
Them- “We need to talk.”
Crap, I hate when they do this.
Me- “Okay.”
Them- “We just want you to know that no matter what happens we love you.”
Oh my god, I did something but what? Or maybe mom is sick or having another kid. Ewww that’s so gross. Oh my god maybe it was that science test I never showed them. No, an 82 is not bad enough for this. I must have done something awful.
Me- “I love you guys too…”
Them- “We will always be a family.”
This is getting way to weird. Are we moving? Are we gonna buy that farm in Westchester they looked at in 5th grade? I’m in the middle of school though that would suck so bad.. There are stables there I would get to ride more then just the weekends. I miss fish. He was such a sweet horse. If we do move though I need a better name then fish for my horse. What am I saying; we can’t move I could never live outside the city full time. Going to the upstate house on the weekends is one thing but living their!!! No they can’t make me!
Me- “…..
Them- “We are getting separated.”
I hate that word, “Separated.” People use it in such a temporary way, like it means nothing when separation is the beginning and it is almost always followed by something.
Their eyes are burning holes into me. I will not look at them though. I stare at the table. I want to run, sprint, just leave. I can’t though I can’t move.
They are still looking. It hurts. The way their eyes are boring into me looking for any sign that I understand. I keep my face blank. I probably look stupid, so stupid. I don’t care. They can’t do this. They can’t.
I stand and push my chair back. It scratches the floor. I see my mom wince. I know she hates that. I leave the room and make it right outside my door before I collapse on the floor.
Diary Entry
“Thinking”
April 17th, 2009
So I do not think that I will ever forget today. It’s one of those days that feels like it’s been etched into your mind. Permanently stuck their no matter how hard you try and forget. It’s not like I could forget anyways. I will be forced to think of it everyday. Like a cut that will never heal. It’s only been two days and I miss him, even though we have talked on the phone 3 times. I miss her even though she is still here. I miss them. Alone they are different. I love them both so much. I know they love me too. They both make a point of telling me all the time. Mom says when he finds an apartment things will go back to normal. I don’t tell her that I know she is lying that things can never be “normal” again. I want to be strong. I know my mom is having a hard enough time with Jack. He is only 8. I want to help. I want to hug her. The house is so empty without him. I start to set the table for four and then stop myself. Setting it for three is weird. I know that mom feels it to when she sits in her regular spot. She does not seem that upset. Which is good I guess, that neither of them are sad.
I miss them being together. They were one person, but not now.
- Kate
“Accepting/Realizing”
I remember the night
It happened
Their voices drifted upstairs
Keeping me awake.
You can tell he is gone.
Little pieces of him are
missing.
His briefcase
From the coatroom
Cloth’s from the closet.
His smell is gone
Smell of
Earth, roses,
And my mom’s perfume.
Smell of a married man.
Tuesday, June 14, 2011
Thursday, June 9, 2011
2nd Responce to my coming of age story
Kate Macrae 814
I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings is the coming of age story of Maya Angelou, an African American girl growing up in the Deep South. I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings is a coming of age story because it shows the problems and challenges that many children face growing up. The mane coming of age problem Maya Angelou has to deal with is accepting herself and realizing that just because she is different does not make her any less then others.
Maya Angelou has a much harder time accepting herself then other children. She lives in the South and constantly has to face racial issues. Where she lives really affects her as a person. She thinks that she is not as good as other people because of her race. Many places in the book show her struggling with her race and racial issues. Many of these issues have to do with the store that her grandmother owns. Working in it she encounters many situations that leave her feeling less then she is. Comments like “look at her she’s the color of shit” destroy her self confidence and severally damage her even though she is only seven years old.
Another reason that Maya Angelou has trouble accepting herself is that she does not live with her parents, but her grandmother and crippled uncle. One part of the book that made me realize how awful she feels about her parents not living with her is this one,
“My mother and father, who lived separately in a heaven called California, where we were told they could have all the oranges they could eat. And the sun shone all the time. I was sure that wasn’t so. I couldn’t believe that our mother would laugh and eat oranges in the sunshine without her children.” The fact that she knows her parents do not want her or assumes they do is very damaging to her confidence and how she thinks of herself.
The final reason that Maya Angelou has trouble accepting herself is her brother. Though he is only a few months older then her he is treated differently by everyone even young white boys and girls respect him more. Having a sibling that seems very similar to you but is treated on such a different level is damaging. Her brother makes her question herself though he loves her very much. Having an older sibling is hard enough but having one that people respect and seem to love more then you can make you think twice about yourself and second guess many of your actions.
I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings is a beautifully written story of Maya Angelou’s life. It shows the hardships and conflicts of coming of age as an African American girl growing up deep in the South. It shows how much pressure she is under and how hard it is for everyone to grow up, over come challenges and accept yourself.
I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings is the coming of age story of Maya Angelou, an African American girl growing up in the Deep South. I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings is a coming of age story because it shows the problems and challenges that many children face growing up. The mane coming of age problem Maya Angelou has to deal with is accepting herself and realizing that just because she is different does not make her any less then others.
Maya Angelou has a much harder time accepting herself then other children. She lives in the South and constantly has to face racial issues. Where she lives really affects her as a person. She thinks that she is not as good as other people because of her race. Many places in the book show her struggling with her race and racial issues. Many of these issues have to do with the store that her grandmother owns. Working in it she encounters many situations that leave her feeling less then she is. Comments like “look at her she’s the color of shit” destroy her self confidence and severally damage her even though she is only seven years old.
Another reason that Maya Angelou has trouble accepting herself is that she does not live with her parents, but her grandmother and crippled uncle. One part of the book that made me realize how awful she feels about her parents not living with her is this one,
“My mother and father, who lived separately in a heaven called California, where we were told they could have all the oranges they could eat. And the sun shone all the time. I was sure that wasn’t so. I couldn’t believe that our mother would laugh and eat oranges in the sunshine without her children.” The fact that she knows her parents do not want her or assumes they do is very damaging to her confidence and how she thinks of herself.
The final reason that Maya Angelou has trouble accepting herself is her brother. Though he is only a few months older then her he is treated differently by everyone even young white boys and girls respect him more. Having a sibling that seems very similar to you but is treated on such a different level is damaging. Her brother makes her question herself though he loves her very much. Having an older sibling is hard enough but having one that people respect and seem to love more then you can make you think twice about yourself and second guess many of your actions.
I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings is a beautifully written story of Maya Angelou’s life. It shows the hardships and conflicts of coming of age as an African American girl growing up deep in the South. It shows how much pressure she is under and how hard it is for everyone to grow up, over come challenges and accept yourself.
Wednesday, May 25, 2011
Prompt # 15
Writing Prompt Number 15
# 15. Some aspects of coming of age are pain and loss, disappointment and disillusionment. Write about one experience you have had that relates to one of these aspects.
The first time you lose something is the worst. The first time I lost something I was 7 or 8 years old. I did not want to believe my mom when she said I needed to say good bye. I woke up with no dog thumping his tail at the foot of my bed. No one ran down stairs with me to breakfast. No one came running at me when I went outside to play in the backyard. I felt like so much was missing. Everyday I expected to see him, but everyday he was not there.
This was probably one of the most significant memories of my childhood. It was not for a few months that I learned that he was a stray dog tied to our door. At night (when I missed him the most) my mom would hold me and tell me that because of us his life was so much better. We would go on the room and look at the starts. She would tell me that he was up their. When ever I really miss him I can look up their and know he is still there.
# 15. Some aspects of coming of age are pain and loss, disappointment and disillusionment. Write about one experience you have had that relates to one of these aspects.
The first time you lose something is the worst. The first time I lost something I was 7 or 8 years old. I did not want to believe my mom when she said I needed to say good bye. I woke up with no dog thumping his tail at the foot of my bed. No one ran down stairs with me to breakfast. No one came running at me when I went outside to play in the backyard. I felt like so much was missing. Everyday I expected to see him, but everyday he was not there.
This was probably one of the most significant memories of my childhood. It was not for a few months that I learned that he was a stray dog tied to our door. At night (when I missed him the most) my mom would hold me and tell me that because of us his life was so much better. We would go on the room and look at the starts. She would tell me that he was up their. When ever I really miss him I can look up their and know he is still there.
I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings
Kate Macrae 814
I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings is the story of Maya Angelo growing up, an African American girl in the Deep South. I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings is a different type of coming age story because Maya is forced to grow up so quickly. She is exposed to racism at a very young age and has to become independent very early.
The first place I noticed how much quicker Maya Angelo had to grow up compared to other kids was when I found out that she does not live with her parents but instead lives with her grandmother and crippled uncle. Her grandmother owns a store which consumes almost all of her time and her uncle works at the store, so Maya and her brother are forced to take care of themselves for the most part.
Another thing that made me realize how much quicker she had to grow up is how much hate and racism she was exposed to at a young age. On page 45 Maya Angelo wrote
“People in Stamps used to say that the whites in our town were so prejudiced that a Negro couldn’t buy vanilla ice cream. Except on July Fourth. Other days he had to be satisfied with chocolate.”
The fact that at age 7 or 8 she had to buy a different type of ice cream because people told her that she did not have the right to choose for herself. It makes me really sad to think that someone could be hated so much by people she did not even know when they did not even know her.
The last place I noticed how Maya has to grow up faster then other kids was when I realized that unlike many kids she had to learn the concept of money and become responsible very fast because even though her grandmother owned a store they were not rich. A passage that shows just how much she wanted things but could not have them is about something as simple as canned pineapple.
“Although the syrupy golden rings in their exotic cans sat on our shelves year round, we only tasted them during Christmas. I’d like to think that my desire for pineapples was so scared that I wouldn’t allow myself to steal a can and eat it alone in the garden, but I’m certain that I must have weighed the possibility of the scent exposing me and didn’t have the nerve to attempt it.”
Passages like this show just how responsible she was at 8 years old.
So far I have enjoyed this book very much and hope it continues to be as good as it is know. Though it is an unusual coming of age story it is a great piece of writing and you can really feel Maya Angelo’s voice coming through it.
I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings is the story of Maya Angelo growing up, an African American girl in the Deep South. I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings is a different type of coming age story because Maya is forced to grow up so quickly. She is exposed to racism at a very young age and has to become independent very early.
The first place I noticed how much quicker Maya Angelo had to grow up compared to other kids was when I found out that she does not live with her parents but instead lives with her grandmother and crippled uncle. Her grandmother owns a store which consumes almost all of her time and her uncle works at the store, so Maya and her brother are forced to take care of themselves for the most part.
Another thing that made me realize how much quicker she had to grow up is how much hate and racism she was exposed to at a young age. On page 45 Maya Angelo wrote
“People in Stamps used to say that the whites in our town were so prejudiced that a Negro couldn’t buy vanilla ice cream. Except on July Fourth. Other days he had to be satisfied with chocolate.”
The fact that at age 7 or 8 she had to buy a different type of ice cream because people told her that she did not have the right to choose for herself. It makes me really sad to think that someone could be hated so much by people she did not even know when they did not even know her.
The last place I noticed how Maya has to grow up faster then other kids was when I realized that unlike many kids she had to learn the concept of money and become responsible very fast because even though her grandmother owned a store they were not rich. A passage that shows just how much she wanted things but could not have them is about something as simple as canned pineapple.
“Although the syrupy golden rings in their exotic cans sat on our shelves year round, we only tasted them during Christmas. I’d like to think that my desire for pineapples was so scared that I wouldn’t allow myself to steal a can and eat it alone in the garden, but I’m certain that I must have weighed the possibility of the scent exposing me and didn’t have the nerve to attempt it.”
Passages like this show just how responsible she was at 8 years old.
So far I have enjoyed this book very much and hope it continues to be as good as it is know. Though it is an unusual coming of age story it is a great piece of writing and you can really feel Maya Angelo’s voice coming through it.
Wednesday, March 30, 2011
Final Responce to the Hunger Games
The Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins is a dystopia that has magnified modern day issues. The Hunger Games is so much more than the story of Katniss Everdeen and the rebellion she leads the nation of Panem in against the capital. The story projects what many people fear the future may bring us. It shows that we all fear things to come in the future and confronts us with the very real possibility that these things could happen.
The first place I saw modern day problems reflected in the book was when I found out that people that were born in certain districts could not move out of them and had to do the job assigned to that district. Katniss, the main female character, lives in District 12. In District 12, the only job is coal mining because District 12 exports coal. The idea of being limited not by how smart you are or how hard you are willing to work but by where you live is scary to me. The fact that women are destined to be housewives to coal miners and that that is all that they will ever be able to do is terrible, upsetting and just flat out wrong. Although defining people just by where they live is not a very big problem in America, I think that the issue of limiting or labeling people is magnified in this book. For example, I think some kids that grow up in bad neighborhoods may feel like they cannot do anything or be anyone. In many third world countries, women are treated poorly. Similarly in many of the poor districts of Panem women can not make a future for themselves and oppressed people have no future.
The next place I noticed modern day problems magnified in the book was when I learned that to keep the people of Panem in check the government holds annual Hunger Games, where they select a boy and girl from each districts and put them all in an arena to fight to the death. The last person left standing wins the game and great wealth for their district. I find it extremely scary to imagine a government that would kill teenagers and children so that they could make a point and scare people into listening to them. The Hunger Games are an extreme version of modern Capitol Punishment.
The last place that I noticed modern day problems reflected into the future was when I learned that Panem, a futuristic North America, is only 12 districts. Panem is only 12 districts because the rest of what used to be known as North America is mostly toxic wasteland or land that is unable to sustain life because it has been dug into and mined for fossil fuels and stripped of its resources, rendering it totally worthless. With all the nuclear development and factories producing toxic fluids and gases, almost two thirds of America were unable to sustain any form of life. This is something that scares me the most because we are completely aware of the consequences of toxic, nuclear and radioactive wastes, yet we continue to use nuclear wastes and fossil fuels and do not even properly dispose of them. We dump them into our oceans and parts of land polluting our wildlife and soon poisoning ourselves.
The Hunger Games is more then a story that keeps you interested. It makes you wonder what the future has in store for us if we do not make sure the government stays in balance, treat people fairly and humanely (regardless of their background), encourage people to achieve their potential and become more conscience about how the way we live affects our environment.
Extra Credit
Shakespeare Extra credit
William Shakespeare lived approximately 52 years. He was both born and died in April. During his life, Shakespeare wrote 37 plays and 154 sonnets. Macbeth is one of the most popular plays. A performance begins approximately every four hours. Shakespeare’s plays have over 600 references to birds throughout all 37 of his plays. Shakespeare is said to be one of the greatest playwrights of all time.
In the 1600’s fashion had a lot to do with big lace or linen collars. Sleeves went from being very slim to quite big and puffy. Women wore dresses with floral patterned or jeweled bodices. Women wore full skirts with tight bodices. Upper class people wore their hair at collar length for men or put up for many women.
Hats with large brims were also very much in style. Men started to wear britches instead of hose in the 1600’s. Working class men and women in this time wore tall copatain hats. Men wore shirtwaists with britches. Some very fashionable men had one piece of hair called a “lovelock” over one of their shoulders.
Flat shoes were worn in England until about the 1610’s when a small lift (heel) became popular. Women’s stockings had patterns near the ankle, right where the shoe began. Many women’s shoes had decorative cloth pom-poms or flowers on top.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Boots_and_Boot_Hose_1630s.jpg
Many men wore knee high turned down boots, made of many different types of leather.
William Shakespeare lived approximately 52 years. He was both born and died in April. During his life, Shakespeare wrote 37 plays and 154 sonnets. Macbeth is one of the most popular plays. A performance begins approximately every four hours. Shakespeare’s plays have over 600 references to birds throughout all 37 of his plays. Shakespeare is said to be one of the greatest playwrights of all time.
In the 1600’s fashion had a lot to do with big lace or linen collars. Sleeves went from being very slim to quite big and puffy. Women wore dresses with floral patterned or jeweled bodices. Women wore full skirts with tight bodices. Upper class people wore their hair at collar length for men or put up for many women.
Hats with large brims were also very much in style. Men started to wear britches instead of hose in the 1600’s. Working class men and women in this time wore tall copatain hats. Men wore shirtwaists with britches. Some very fashionable men had one piece of hair called a “lovelock” over one of their shoulders.
Flat shoes were worn in England until about the 1610’s when a small lift (heel) became popular. Women’s stockings had patterns near the ankle, right where the shoe began. Many women’s shoes had decorative cloth pom-poms or flowers on top.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Boots_and_Boot_Hose_1630s.jpg
Many men wore knee high turned down boots, made of many different types of leather.
Sonnet
Sonnet
The little boys eyes were deep blue like the sea
His hands were pale while, frail, wrinkled and small
He was alone with only a cracked cup for tea
He sat crumpled against a tall dirty wall
Men and women walk by without a look
He watches with envy as they ate rice
He stands and in his old book
A smile spreads from cheek to cheek, his face looks quite nice
His small dirty face looks so out of place
Watching and waiting looking down the lane
Passers by look at him like he is waste
He eyes the dogs locked up in chains
Another small boy comes over to say hi
And I am sad and want to day goodby
The little boys eyes were deep blue like the sea
His hands were pale while, frail, wrinkled and small
He was alone with only a cracked cup for tea
He sat crumpled against a tall dirty wall
Men and women walk by without a look
He watches with envy as they ate rice
He stands and in his old book
A smile spreads from cheek to cheek, his face looks quite nice
His small dirty face looks so out of place
Watching and waiting looking down the lane
Passers by look at him like he is waste
He eyes the dogs locked up in chains
Another small boy comes over to say hi
And I am sad and want to day goodby
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